What do you share, when do you share it, and who do you share it with?? Do you share it with a total stranger...or someone close?? For me...it's mostly neither. I accept my silence as a part of me. Silence is my alternative to getting lost in my feelings. I'd rather be alone than around people who twist me to be someone I'm not. I'd rather be silent than have someone change my words and put words in my mouth. I don't know that I share much more to anyone these days than I have before. Sure...When I'm happy I'll let you know. When I'm not I'll shrug it off and say I'm fine. Will anyone ever know the difference?? That's when the mask comes in handy. I put it on whenever I want to disquise the truth. Life is one big game of hide and seek. Personally I like to hide...hide in the silence. The silence of being alone. Alone...just me and the air around me. I choose to be silent for it's the only way I ought to be.
Saturday, January 31, 2009
Silent
What do you share, when do you share it, and who do you share it with?? Do you share it with a total stranger...or someone close?? For me...it's mostly neither. I accept my silence as a part of me. Silence is my alternative to getting lost in my feelings. I'd rather be alone than around people who twist me to be someone I'm not. I'd rather be silent than have someone change my words and put words in my mouth. I don't know that I share much more to anyone these days than I have before. Sure...When I'm happy I'll let you know. When I'm not I'll shrug it off and say I'm fine. Will anyone ever know the difference?? That's when the mask comes in handy. I put it on whenever I want to disquise the truth. Life is one big game of hide and seek. Personally I like to hide...hide in the silence. The silence of being alone. Alone...just me and the air around me. I choose to be silent for it's the only way I ought to be.
Friday, January 30, 2009
Last Letter To Mom
Brenda (mom),
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
FREE!!!!
Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Numb
Blank
Jacket of Life
Monday, December 29, 2008
The Heart Within
Two steps forward one step back...so they say...One step forward and it's back to the beginning for me. One minute happy, higher than a bird will soar, higher than a plane can fly...then one minute as low as one can get. Lower than the soles of one's shoes. Down in the depths of despair without any warning. No explanation, though one would like to have one. An argument, an offense, a failure even. Jumping from high to low within seconds. Faster than one can imagine, faster than the speed of light, going from one world of emotion into the next. Which emotion is real?? The one higher than the clouds?? Or the one beneath the sea?? Could be they both serve a purpose. One used to cover up the other. Layering the heart so that nothing else can get in, so that not everything inside can be seen. Each layer stronger than the one before, making it more difficult to get through. Afraid the layers will be removed and the pain will be unbearable...exposed...wounds being ripped open after being closed for so long. Rather than removing layers...more continue to be added in hopes to stay at a high. A high that shows happiness...that shows nothing that's underneath. Yet this high only lasts for moments...I cherish them as though they were the last time they'd be felt. Lasting only moments until dashing down into the depths of despair...saddness...and isolation.