Monday, December 29, 2008

The Heart Within

Two steps forward one step they say...One step forward and it's back to the beginning for me. One minute happy, higher than a bird will soar, higher than a plane can fly...then one minute as low as one can get. Lower than the soles of one's shoes. Down in the depths of despair without any warning. No explanation, though one would like to have one. An argument, an offense, a failure even. Jumping from high to low within seconds. Faster than one can imagine, faster than the speed of light, going from one world of emotion into the next. Which emotion is real?? The one higher than the clouds?? Or the one beneath the sea?? Could be they both serve a purpose. One used to cover up the other. Layering the heart so that nothing else can get in, so that not everything inside can be seen. Each layer stronger than the one before, making it more difficult to get through. Afraid the layers will be removed and the pain will be being ripped open after being closed for so long. Rather than removing layers...more continue to be added in hopes to stay at a high. A high that shows happiness...that shows nothing that's underneath. Yet this high only lasts for moments...I cherish them as though they were the last time they'd be felt. Lasting only moments until dashing down into the depths of despair...saddness...and isolation.

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